please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Shame - the story of my life.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
