it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
