So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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