Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
