My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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