hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
