I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
