Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize