Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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