And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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