physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
why do cheetos always look like penises
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
