You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
