im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
