I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
