You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
