He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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