Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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