Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
