So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
