I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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