I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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