How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm too high and old for this...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
