im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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