I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
