Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
