my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
