so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
