I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Boobs speak an international language.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
