do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
