Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
