My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
