you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
