Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She's the barista slut.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
