Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
