the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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