In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
