we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
