I hate all girls vehemently.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
