in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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