Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
