you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
