is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
