ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
