i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Michael Bay diarrhea
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
