she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
