Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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