P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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