my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
