Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
