Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
