Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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