You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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