Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
