If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
