I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I love having hate sex.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I stole a fireplace last night.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
