Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
try to milk me bitch
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