question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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