I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize