Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm always down for nudity.
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