She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
